Hill wants Japan to be career swansong

The 38-year-old ex-champion was talking for the first time since announcing his decision last week to quit Grand Prix racing at the Japanese Grand Prix.

In a frank press conference at the Jordan motor home in the paddock of the French Grand Prix he said his ambition was to go out in style with a victory at the last race in Japan.

But he admitted he was sometimes 'distracted' in the cockpit and he did not want his performances to distract from Jordan's bid to finish third in the team championship.

'I have considered stopping a number of times in my career when there have been a lot of low points but if I stopped at all the low points I came across I would never have been world champion,' he said.

'It is not in my nature to throw in the towel in the heat of the moment.

'I like to think about it and carry on. It may well be that might have to happen. I don't know, I hope not and it's not something I want to entertain.

'One of the reasons I made the announcement is that I wanted to make it clear where I stood.

'My state of mind is that I see an end at the end of this year. I am having difficulties and I am trying to overcome them.

'I do not want to damage, in any way, Eddie's [Jordan] hopes of securing his highest ever constructors' championship position.

'If my performances aren't up to it then of course we will have to discuss it.'

'But that is certainly not my intent and for the sake of good relations with Eddie I have always been very open with him and we have had pretty open discussions all this season.'

In a typically open and forthright performance Hill laid out what had been going through his mind.

'I set out this season with heart, hopes and intentions high. Despite that I cannot get the best out of the car or out of myself.

'Motivation is not an issue. I find myself trying very hard in the racing car but the chemical reaction, or whatever it is, is not taking place and I find myself distracted which is not a good position to be in when you are driving a Formula One car.

'I have enjoyed being in F1, enjoyed racing in F1 but the time comes for everyone, and has come for me, where the enjoyment factor has decreased sufficiently where it is affecting my performance.'

He said his age, the monotonous round of testing that kept the father of four away from his family and wife Georgie, and the small chance of a victory were all factors in his decision.

'If you are not doing very well it is a bloody dangerous thing to be involved in.'

Asked if he was being unfair to the Jordan team by not quitting immediately, he replied, 'I would be unfair if I was making a pig's ear of everything as I have done this year so far. I bloody hope it doesn't continue like that.'

Many of the sport's drivers, inlcuding Nigel Mansell, have turned to America, but Hill said he would not be one of them.

'I regard Formula One as the pinnacle of motor sport. The strength and talent in depth in F1 is greater than any other category of motor sport so it is difficult to do something less but I don't want to denegrate racing in America.

'And much as I love the States I don't want to move the family again. You can count me out of your who-goes-where discussion now.'

He killed speculation that he was quitting because he could not get a drive next year.

'I have not even begun discussions with anyone about next year, he added.

But Hill said he hoped he could still have a role in Grand Prix racing after his retirement from the cockpit in less than five months time.

'I would love to be involved with F1 in some way. Incredible industry and amazing spectacle but I would like to spend more time at home that's the real snag.'

'To just carry on racing to be racing does not satisfy me. I got such a massive thrill about being in the lead of Grands Prix. I guess I have been spoilt a little bit.'