F1 Bahrain GP in Malaysia: Follow the race at Sepang with live timing

Hulkenberg, Bearman, Bottas, Perez and Colapinto on softs as well.

Gasly is off at Turn 6! He rejoins.

The Aston Martins on mediums too.

Gasly and Bortoleto on softs too.

Antonelli on intermediates as well. Hamilton on slick softs.

Our screen hasn't updated yet but we can see a variety of tyres including Verstappen and Russell on intermediates, Leclerc on soft slicks and Lando Norris on medium slicks.

Mind you our data screen is also showing Lawson's car in downtown Kuala Lumpur.

Our data screen is showing all the drivers on intermediates at the moment, as they prepare to leave the pitlane, so let's see if that updates once they're rolling.

Otherwise we could be in a 2021 Hungarian GP situation where almost everyone peels in for slicks at the end of the formation lap.

Well, it's the finale of the British Motorcycle Racing Club championship on the Brands Hatch Indy circuit today, so at this rate we might have to send someone there to commentate on some actual racing.

Whether it will be a standing start, or a rolling start behind the safety car, is yet to be determined. Perhaps by a game of Spin The Bottle.

"Race will start at 16:33 local time" says race control.

At this rate, the drivers will be starting on slicks. Pity the poor spectators who will be dealing with Trench Foot in the coming days.

Eh, remember the heady days when everything wasn't permanently in beta?

We understand that part of the delay is a result of new software parameters being uploaded to the cars by the FIA. And as you know, all software updates need to be 'verified'.

Were we in the Autosport office, Marcus 'Wibble' Simmons would no doubt be whistling the guitar riff from the classic Sparks tune Amateur Hour. The second track on their seminal album Kimono My House, no less.

Race control now confirms the starting order will be the original grid. But no start time.

So we are now an hour beyond the original scheduled start time.

The clock will have started ticking on the mandatory 'three-hour' duration when the formation lap began at 15:40 local, so it will be game over at 18:40 whatever unfolds in the coming moments.

Formula 1, of course, has form in its participants preferring utter stupidity over good sense provided they benefit from the utter stupidity.

But we also understand that a bit of horse trading is going on behind the scenes as various sporting directors stab their fingers at the rulebook, and the paragraph which states that it should be taken from the order cars entered the pits behind the safety car.

This would, of course, be ridiculous since at least one car would then start a lap down.

We are being told that the original grid order will "in all likelihood" be used for the start.

Anyhow, the rain has largely abated so we might get a race before nightfall.

It's fair to describe this as a farce. And not even a particularly good one – it's about the level of Run For Your Wife.

At least those people who have been saying for years that Formula 1 cars can't race in the wet any more can do the "I was right" dance.

Meanwhile we continue to wait for the Bah-rain Grand Prix to start.

And then hopefully Ferrari will be able to tell its PU software that the track is wet. 

They do say torque is cheap...

The next step will be to release those cars who are out of order - indeed, a lap down in some cases - so that the timing and scoring system can be properly up to date.

This is like what happened in our local parkrun the other week, when one of the volunteers handing out the finishing tokens picked up the wrong pack, started handing out the ones about a hundred positions out, then after realising their mistake went back to where they should have been.

Hamilton under way again; in good IT industry tradition they've turned it off then turned it back on again.

"It's a software issue we're trying to solve," Hamilton is told as his car grinds to a halt on the back straight.

Meanwhile Lawson's car has got going, but he's now a lap down because the SC and Verstappen are way ahead, while the pack led by Antonelli has been dawdling while they work out what's going on.

Verstappen reporting a technical issue, Hamilton says "I'm pressing the throttle and nothing is happening."

GPS shows Liam Lawson's car has not left the grid.

And two fingers of the beverage if, during the laps behind the safety car, a driver complains: (a) the safety car is driving too slowly; (b) the safety car should pull in and let the race start. Cheers!

As an addendum to the rules of the drinking game published earlier, it's "down in one" if a driver complains of a misted visor.

We can expect to see a few laps behind the safety car before the drivers are released. Currently everyone rolling on the intermediate rubber - so no requirement to use two different dry-weather compounds once the rain dissipates.

In the words of the ridiculous Peter Powell, let's get this road on the show.

We await confirmation of the starting procedure. But, given the conditions, a standing start will be messier than Gregg Wallace's sock drawer, so...

15:40 local time is confirmed for the start.

10-minute warning has now been issued so we're about to get going.

"Only a couple of corners are still an issue at the moment," says the FIA. "The marshals are focusing their work on these areas."