Hanging in there: Interview with Anthony Davidson

Tony Dodgins: Can you take me back to the time when the future first looked dubious. What were your thoughts at that time?

Anthony Davidson: "It started looking negative at the end of last year. I did a few tests but never really heard any news that it was all going ahead as a dead cert.

"Then for a while it looked okay, and then just literally a few weeks before Australia it all crumbled. It looked like we weren't going to be there at all. Obviously that was devastating, but at that time there were still deals to be done and I had a chance to either find something else in the paddock or go somewhere else and do another thing.

"It is still quite an opportunist moment of the year, early January time."

TD: Can you be a bit more specific about what else was on offer?

Davidson: "To be honest nothing was ever really discussed, it was just ideas. At that time of the year you still can do a deal somewhere else if need be. But as it goes on and on everybody knows the story.

Anthony Davidson during winter testing © LAT

"As to how it's been - a roller-coaster ride up to this point. Obviously everything looked pretty good two weeks ago. Everyone had their spirits high and we were on the rise again. We believed in the future, felt confident and had a great race in Bahrain. Everyone was really pumped up.

"But the week before coming here everyone heard the news again ... This time I actually didn't think I was going to be here. That's how bad it got."

TD: What goes through your mind?

Davidson: "First is obviously about your own security, just like any job in life, and you worry about that side of things. And obviously at this time of year, every deal around the world in every class of racing is done and cemented.

"And it's still early doors in the year with nothing else really going on apart from people getting down to business and doing their job. Not to have anything at this time of the year, for everyone in the team, was a diabolical situation."

TD: Is it difficult to focus on driving an F1 car in those circumstances?

Davidson: "The head wasn't in a good place and I came here expecting to hear the worst and not to drive at all. Then I turned up Friday morning and literally found out then that we were going to be driving. You've just got to get on and do it.

"In my head I was thinking that we weren't going to compete this weekend or for the rest of the year. So then to be told it's all back on ... It's kind of like being teased. I can't really explain it. My head was a mess on Friday really, and to be honest it's still not right."

TD: How does that manifest itself on the track? You make mistakes?

Davidson: "Funny thing is, in the car is the easiest part. You're on autopilot, in the zone and just doing your job. Then you get out of the car and it all hits home again. And it's everyone, remember. The guys - they've got wives, mortgages and kids like everyone else.

"To find motivation on Friday was very tough but we all got there and had a night to sleep on it with the notion of competing for the weekend. You just pull yourself together and get on with it.

"But always, in the back of your mind, is the question: is this the last one? After qualifying I was thinking well, I've done a million laps around Barcelona, it would be very fitting if this was the last time I ever competed in qualifying in a Formula 1 car. And I've done a bloody good job out there. But in the car, no problems, fantastic."

Anthony and Carrie Davidson © LAT

TD: How serious is it for you? You're married, I don't know whether you've got a mortgage but are you, for instance, contracted to the end of the year?

Davidson: "I don't actually have a house yet so I'm not the stereotypical Formula 1 driver, that's for sure! I'm still looking for security from this game and I'm definitely good enough to deserve that. I just can't understand why this keeps happening to me ... (slight self-deprecating laughter).

"I don't want to talk about contracts, but let's just say I fear for the rest of the year with the team not being here. I don't want to talk contracts but you can pretty much catch my drift ..."

TD: Is it hard to do the training amid all the uncertainty?

Davidson: "Training for this one was really hard, because I didn't think we were going to be coming here. But I've been training really well all year actually, because we've had such limited time in the car. It's the only thing I've had to really keep my mind in the zone and focused.

"I felt great after the Bahrain race, and in Malaysia as well. I looked like one of the fittest, freshest guys after the race. With basically no testing I was proud of the fact that I could step out of the car and feel good. I was able to push for the whole race, in Malaysia and Bahrain."

TD: Do you enjoy training or is it a chore?

Davidson: "I really like it. For my 18th birthday - no, God, I wish! - I mean my birthday on the 18th, we went down to Wales mountain biking and that was really good. It was just at the time when it was all looking a bit dodgy for Spain and it was really good to clear your head."

TD: Does the uncertainty make you irritable, give you a short fuse?

Davidson: "No. When I'm at home I'm fine. The toughest time was actually coming out to Spain without the guarantee of driving. That was tough. To see everyone all happy, getting on with a normal weekend and we're here praying we're going to be out there. I would have preferred to find out either way before going to Barcelona.

"So it goes on basically, like that. I've got to the stage where I really just feel that I don't deserve it. I'm not bitter and I thank everyone for giving me the chance to get to this stage of my career. But I think I've proved to everyone I'm good enough to be here and I'm proud of myself.

"I think I've done a bloody good job in the circumstances, for all of this year so far. I think there are some more experienced drivers on the grid who would definitely have cracked by now."

TD: Presumably all you can do is go out there and try to beat Taku?

Davidson: "That's all you've got when you are in the slowest car. If it wasn't Taku it would be a paying driver, and that would be no fun at all because you'd have no competition. I'm glad he's there. He's like a sparring partner. You can go out there and have a good fight and really enjoy it.

Anthony Davidson and Takuma Sato © LAT

"I know him really well, we've got a history together and it's nice to have someone there who's a known factor and also a friend outside of the circuit. You go through this together and you know how each other is feeling as well."

TD: Can it be a genuine friendship when he's the only gauge of your performance?

Davidson: "Absolutely. We know each other so well and we've probably got one of the best relationships in the paddock. And I think that's because of the situation we are in. I think if we were in a bigger team together it probably wouldn't be that way. But when you are both going through hell you kind of pull yourselves through together."

TD: Togetherness in adversity?

Davidson: "Absolutely!"

TD: You've had a long relationship with Honda. Do you see a long term future there?

Davidson: "All I can say is that long-term I think I've proved I can easily cope with the demands of F1. All of this is only going to make me stronger. Some people have a lot easier time, it seems, and when it comes to crunch time, situations like this are going to make me the stronger man.

"I don't think some people in this game realise how lucky they are. I just hope that what I've done has registered with people."

TD: Next year there is a myriad of regulation changes. A good time for an experienced tester who gives sensible feedback?

Davidson: "I think with all the Kinetic Energy Recovery Systems (KERS) coming in, obviously that adds a lot of weight to the car. There will definitely be an advantage in having a smaller driver. I weigh 56 kilos. So do the maths, guys ... Please!"