Grapevine: Straw Poll: Thursday at Shanghai

More than anything else, Thursdays are a day of talk in the Formula One paddock. In addition to the FIA press conference - which on Thursdays puts four drivers on the spot in front of the massed ranks of the media - there are also a series of opportunities to speak to most of the drivers scattered through the afternoon.

As usual, Williams driver Nico Rosberg had one such slot scheduled for Thursday afternoon and it was well attended.

After a few of the usual questions opening the session - chances for next year, his opinion on stewarding decisions, the future of independent teams and his hopes (which were slim) of making the points this weekend - Rosberg got onto the subject of old GP2 rival Nelson Piquet and was visibly surprised at this question.

Q. "Your father said that Nelson is a very strong driver, but..."

Rosberg: "My father said that? Where did he say that?"

Q. "Maybe after the Singapore GP."

Rosberg: Really?

Q. "Maybe you want him to describe you like that."

Rosberg: "No, it's not that, I think it's right because Nelson is a good driver, but no I didn't expect my dad to... because the Piquet camp has been quite... aggressive against us in recent years, especially at the time with testing for Williams which I don't really care about, it's not my problem. That's why I thought my dad maybe wouldn't be so positive!"

With the question of Nelson Piquet and the inevitable follow-up question about Keke Rosberg - and Rosberg shares with many other "sons of" a discomfort at constantly having to answer questions about their parent - out of the way, Rosberg was then presented with a few local interest questions.

After being asked to come up with five words which described Shanghai - he was pretty much on the money. He opted for:

Hectic
They don't care about pedestrians (this elicited a gasp. It seems the Chinese do care about pedestrians, it's just that they seem to care mainly about trying to run them over)
Fun
Variety
Smog

Then came the real test. It seems that last year Rosberg was taught how to write his name in what was presumably Mandarin. But had he kept up with his studies? He was duly presented with a sheet of paper which had ten or so Formula One driver names on it and invited to identify and autograph his in some kind of test to see if he was up to the standard level of any three-year-old in China.

Rosberg was on the ropes. He clearly didn't recognise his name in Mandarin. But what he did remember was that what he was taught last year was only two letters long. So he opted for the fourth name down the list.

It was a cunning strategy, but for the fact that his name was printed on the list in full and he had just signed his name next to that of old teammate Alex Wurz. A debate about whether he had been taught how to write "Nico" or "Nico Rosberg" last year ensued which was never satisfactorily resolved - but could presumably, like most things, still result in a drive-through penalty being issued in Sunday's Grand Prix.

Once he had circled the five things that he liked about Shanghai on the next piece of carefully-prepared paper presented to him him, there came a barrage of presents. The session had started with him being offered a gift, and ended with him being given another - a fan (the kind for cooling yourself, not for following you around asking for your autograph).

Inevitably, as did many of these activities, it required photographic confirmation. With the session rapidly deteriorating into a series of gifts being bestowed and photography, Rosberg was quietly withdrawn from the madness.

Of course, this has absolutely nothing to do with the main topic of the day - the title battle between Felipe Massa, Robert Kubica and Lewis Hamilton. The FIA press conference featured two of them, as well as Fernando Alonso and Kimi Raikkonen. There were some very stilted silences as various questions about penalty decisions, Hamilton's driving standards and who the Spaniard favoured to win the title.

There was also a great moment when a local journalist and Kimi Raikkonen attempted to outdo each other for inaudible/indecipherable talking (it was a score draw).

So if you've got a few minutes, take a look at the press conference transcript. The game here is to work out during which moments Alonso had the biggest grin on his face.