English journo to bare all

Ron Dennis, it seems, is not about to let him off the hook. "I have several values by which I try to run my own life," said a solemn-faced Dennis after its team won its first race since Malaysia 2003. "Putting aside honesty and integrity, if I gamble and I lose, I am always prepared to pay the price. And I think as an Englishman, I anticipate and expect him to follow the letter of the commitment and not try to swerve into some soft alternative approach.

"The reality is that we all do things on the spur of the moment and those are the things which basically tend to change our lives. I'm sure that many photographs of him running around Silverstone naked are going to be distributed by internet and no doubt if the English weather is anything to go by, he won't have anything to worry about. There won't be much to see!"

Dennis, warming to his theme, added: "I expect that the entire British community, not just the media, but all the teams, will commit to a complete news and excommunication process if he does not fulfil the commitment. So, as he won't be able to deal with anyone who speaks English in the pitlane unless he performs, I should think that as his livelihood is at stake he'd better get training. We will allow him one concession - he can wear trainers!"

Dennis has, however, unwittingly provided McKenzie with a loophole. An Englishman might well honour his commitment but McKenzie is, of course, a Scot...